What I Learned After Turning 30

Welp…guess what? I’m part of the mid-thirties club. Today is my 35th birthday!  Time seriously flies. I remember my 18th birthday like it was yesterday. Not that I want to go back to it, I just remember it. And trust me, I do NOT want to go back to it. Because you want to know the best part of being in my thirties is? ALL OF IT.

That’s right. I love my thirties. Sure, it was fun being young and carefree. It was nice having actual time to hang out with friends and going out to do whatever the hell I wanted when I wanted. But you know what? I can honestly say I wouldn’t go back! Maybe I’m alone in this. Maybe I’m just boring or too much of a homebody. Maybe I just didn’t get my shiz together until later in life, I don’t know. Regardless, life in general just got better for me after I turned 30. Here are my top five reasons why being thirty-something is awesome:

1. I have gained some confidence. Do you ever just look back at pictures and think “holy $#*@, what was I thinking?” Yeah me, too. Experimenting with clothes was my thing when I was younger. I think it’s because I didn’t know who I was yet, so every day was like my little experiment. I feel like that’s what your twenties are – one giant experiment.

Sure it was fun, being spontaneous, always changing my mind, trying out new college classes and then switching them – but I had never been comfortable back then. I did have lots of goals, but I aimed so high that I felt I was never “good enough”. I also thought I had to be so ________ all the time. (Insert “happy”, “thin”, “pretty”, whatever here.) Not anymore! Gone are the days where I felt I had to impress someone. Actually, I’m pretty sure at this point that I’m incapable of even pretending anymore. My inside now matches my outside. Side effects may include resting bitch face and inability to stop saying what’s on my mind.

2. I have accepted that I can’t please everyone. My schedule was so full when I was younger. Between working and family and friends, there would always be parties, events, etc. And people would always ask me to do things for them. I like being helpful, so I’d feel bad saying no. But guess what I’d get in return? DIDDLY SQUAT. Now that I’m older, my schedule is still full, but only with people and things that I prioritize in my life. Back then, you think saying “yes” all the time will get you on the favorites list. Well, sometimes, I suppose it does. But now that I’m older, I just could care less about that.

Also, I always thought I had nothing but time. HA! As a mom now, this just makes me LOL. I thought I could do anything and everything because TIME. And then I had to grow up and step into the real world and I knew that time was just a magical place that only existed maybe in never neverland.

I’ve learned that saying yes too much causes me to feel overworked, underappreciated, overwhelmed and under-inebriated. Yes, I know that’s not a word. But that’s the only way to describe someone that has too much on their plate and needs a little something to take the edge off.

3. I have real friendships. I remember thinking my world was going to end because my supposed friend talked smack about me, or so-and-so didn’t want to be my friend. But now I know that real friends are hard to come by – the ones that stick around. And when you have young kids, it’s HARD to have friends. It might be months before I talk to some of them, but now we pick up where we left off. Having fewer friends may be the case, but the relationships are for real. And when they see my hot mess of a house, catch me out in public in my pajamas or watch me give my kids a little “something something” in their milk before bed so they’ll sleep, they still love me and appreciate me anyways. (Just kidding, I wouldn’t wear my pj’s in public.)
4. I take care of myself (or at least try). Okay, so I’m not a saint. I don’t take spin classes or eat only organic and Lord knows I love my chocolate. But I remember in college going out until 4 am clubbing when I had to be in class at 8 am. And I ate fast food like once a day. And, what’s this “exercise” word you speak of? That was not in my vocabulary then. Now I’m no yoga master, but at least I know what I need to be doing, even when I fall of the wagon. Getting older wears on your body, but I’m smart enough now to know that I need to get a grip on my health because my choices now will affect me later. I could not have cared less about this in my twenties. I eat more salads now, but we all know birthdays don’t count. So today I’ll eat cake!

5.I’m no longer living for just me. While some will argue that living in freedom is the best part of your twenties, and, maybe it was, I can honestly say that being a mom is better than anything else I’ve ever imagined. I know that it’s not a life that everyone wants and I get it, but for me, it’s the thing I’d looked most forward to. As stressful as parenting can be and knowing that these little lives depend on you to make decisions and take care of them is scary sometimes, but loving and being loved by my husband and kids in that sort of bond is something that I’d never give up. Now if only I could get child #1 to eat and child #2 to sleep, then that would just top the cake. Guess I can’t have it all!

And here are a few more things I’ve learned in my thirties that I’ll share with you just for kicks:

1. Wearing my “sassy” pants happens a lot more often now. Just don’t text me while I’m watching TWD and you won’t have to deal.
2. I’ve learned what real beauty is. And it has nothing to do with trying to look like a Kardashian.
3. We can have friends that disagree with us on BIG things. Yes, even politics. It’s called “adulting”.
4. Quiet time = awesome. Being alone = even better. It doesn’t happen often, so when it does, it’s magical.
5. I can now decipher who toxic people are. I’ve not been in the dating pool for a long time, but this includes toxic “friends”/people in general. I steer clear of nearby a-holes. My a-hole radar is in check.
6. I’ve embraced the fact that change is GOOD.

Hope you’ve had a good laugh with me today! Anything I’ve left off the list? For those of you that have surpassed your twenties, do you agree or wish you could go back? Comment below! And have a birthday drink in my honor tonight. Cheers!